Make You and Your Dreams Matter

There are many reasons that women go through their  lives not following their dreams or making them a reality.  And if a woman honestly reflects  those reasons are usually close at hand in the people they love and care about.  Women can be very “other-centered.”  They can spend their entire adult lives helping others make their dreams come true…their spouses, children, other family members. They tell themselves that other people need their time and attention first and push their own personal goals to the back burner.  What’s more, an alarming amount of women don’t even know what their dreams are anymore!

Often, it is not until a significant, life-changing event that women realize how important their goals and dreams are, and allow them to be a priority. Some examples of these events: divorce, death of a spouse, kids moving out, a life-threatening illness, loss of a job. If you are going through any of these, you are at the perfect place to reevaluate and start to transform your life.

But you can’t wait for permission from someone else to start thinking about and take action towards your dreams! The only person who can give you permission is you, just allow yourself that freedom for a moment.  Allow yourself to be considered and dare I say to come first for a change.

If you know what your dreams are, now is the time to start making them come true. But where do you start?  What if you have an inkling but don’t know exactly what you want anymore? That’s okay, you can work with that, too. Here are some suggestions:

• Take some time to clarify your goals and dreams. If your dreams are a bit fuzzy, or you have more questions than answers, make fleshing them out a priority. Journaling can help you get some clarity.
• It’s easy to come up with dozens of reasons why something won’t work, or why you can’t do something. Sit and write down only reasons a dream WILL work out, reasons why you CAN succeed. You may have to stifle that inner critic, but just stay focused on the positive possibilities and tell that critic to keep quiet!
• Find some inspiration. Seek out stories of women who have experienced success, and who have made their dreams come true. Success stories are inspiring, and they provide valuable information on the mechanism of goal achievement.  It is not always a smooth direct path, but it is persistence and optimism that pulls women through.
• Come up with an action plan. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and it will evolve over time. Make sure there are plenty of little actions, or find ways to break up big actions into smaller ones. Make a commitment to complete at least one action a day.

You may find as you shift some of your time and focus onto yourself that others around you are not as supportive as you would like.  They will need time to adjust to you not being there for their needs all the time. But don’t give up or cave into demands!  Having honest conversations about what your current needs are will help people understand what is going on for you.  Let people solve more of their own issues and don’t get sucked into family, work and friend dramas (all energy zappers!).

You may have to come to terms with the fact that you are the only one in your inner circle who values your new direction for the time-being.  And that’s okay.  If you are finding yourself flying solo for the first time in a long time, or even the first time ever, this is your perfect opportunity to explore that “crazy idea” or far-fetched fantasy.  Why not?  And you may find a bit of outside support and encouragement to get started helpful.  If you are ready to make a change and make you and your dreams matter, contact Laurie Marsden today.