No matter where you are in your love life—single, in a relationship, or married— Valentine’s Day can be overwhelming. What should be a fun and romantic holiday can turn into a self-pity party or a day of resentment if a partner doesn’t deliver a stunning bouquet with chocolates.

Instead of getting caught up in what Valentine’s Day means or becoming overly critical about your own relationship status, use this holiday to spread love and have fun. Here are four tips to help you enjoy a stress-free, happy Valentine’s Day this year:

1. Plan A Fun Activity

Plan something fun for you and your friends or loved ones to do. Maybe that’s cooking a special meal together as a family, taking your favorite yoga class, or going out to see a movie with your girlfriends. If you are in a relationship and want to enjoy a romantic evening, communicate your ideas to your partner ahead of time so you can plan together. Setting up a fun Valentine’s activity will give you something positive to look forward to and set reasonable expectations for you about how the day will unfold.

2. Show Your Love

Find a way to do something kind for a friend or loved one on Valentine’s Day. You could send Valentines to important people in your life, to let them know how much you value their friendship. Why not bake a batch of heart shaped cookies and deliver them to a friend or neighbor? Another way to show your love is to volunteer at a non-profit or charity organization. By giving love on Valentine’s Day you may receive more love in return.

3. Practice Gratitude

Take time on Valentine’s Day to write down a list of all the things you are most grateful for. The list might include traits that make you “you,” including your smile, your eyes, or your laugh. Think about any other gifts, experiences, or relationships you are thankful for. If you find that you are grateful for a person who provides you with kindness and support, then reach out with a Valentine to let them you value their friendship.

4. Pamper Yourself

Use Valentine’s Day as a reason to pamper yourself. You could change your nail color, or go get a professional manicure or spa treatment. You can also pamper yourself at home. Turn your bathroom into a day-spa by drawing a warm bath, lighting scented candles, and soaking in the tub. Make a cup of herbal tea, and curl up with a favorite book or movie. Just breathe, relax, and enjoy the downtime to feel refreshed and more beautiful.

What are your tips for truly feeling the love on Valentine’s Day? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

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