Why Do I Feel Pressured to Find Love After Divorce?

After a divorce, you will experience a range of emotions, from anger, to grief, to moments of joy and happiness in your new life. You may also feel a sense of pressure to find love after a divorce. This pressure can stem from family and friends or from within.

There is no need to give in to pressure and it is perfectly normal to wait until you are ready to find love again after a divorce. Below we’ll take a look at a few of the most common reasons why women feel pressured to find love again after a divorce.  For each reason, we’ll walk through healthy alternatives for addressing those feelings without entering into a serious romantic relationship:

1. “I want to show my ex that I am desirable”

Solution: A little bit of healthy flirting can make you feel desirable and confident again. Be open to flirting with people that you find attractive and engage in a few light flirtations throughout your day. For example, if you are out with girlfriends, it’s OK to chat up people you may meet. There’s no pressure to exchange phone numbers or set up a date. Just have fun and use some extra charm in your conversations.  Keep it lighthearted and smile a lot!

2. “I want to feel attractive again”

Solution: You don’t need a relationship to make you feel beautiful, you can start feeling this way on your own. First make a list of the top traits that you love about yourself. Do you have gorgeous hair, long eyelashes, a bright smile or an infectious laugh? Go over each item on the list in the morning and give thanks for that beautiful asset. Eat well, exercise regularly and care for your appearance. Even if you are just going to the grocery store, get out of those sweatpants and put on something that makes you feel beautiful.

3. “I don’t want to feel lonely”

Solution: You can feel connected and loved without venturing into a new romantic relationship. If you feel lonely or like something is missing in your life, then tap into your support network of family and friends. Make plans to spend time with people you love. You can even build new relationships by signing up for a book club, enrolling in a cooking class or volunteering with a local organization.

4.  “Family and friends are bothering me about dating”

Solution: Family and friends may pressure you with blind dates and constant reminders to “get back out there.” There are two ways to approach this pressure. You can kindly thank your support network for their efforts, but remind them you are not ready for a new relationship yet. Let them know you will reach out to them for support when you are ready. Or you can date casually and just enjoy the companionship and experience of meeting new people. There is no need to look for “the one” on every date. Going out causally can build your confidence and help you learn what you want in a future partner.

How do you feel about finding love after a divorce or serious breakup? Share your questions and thoughts in the comments below. Receive more tips and best practices for finding love and happiness on LaurieMarsden.com.