All women experience their share of worry, no matter their age or status. We worry about our appearances, how others perceive us, and whether we’ll attain our goals, among other things. Though occasional worries are to be expected, constant worry can send you into an anxious tailspin. Luckily, a little strategizing can go a long way. Here, we’ll share three tips to help you free yourself of unnecessary worrying.

1. Remove should from your vocabulary

We’ve all had should applied to us before. We know how it feels. Should implies that your reality isn’t good enough. Should offers up an intangible, glittering veneer of greatness for you to achieve. Should encompasses both blame and shame. Should is the pinnacle of perfection, the ultimate in unattainable. So why believe in it at all?

When you take should out of your vocabulary, you give yourself permission to be a human being rather than a superhero. Letting yourself off the hook for such high standards will lead to a more realistic view of yourself. When you start to see yourself for who you are, you can begin to appreciate yourself for what you truly have to offer. You’ll be able to recognize your inner brilliance.

2. Know your limits

This suggestion may seem overly simple, but observing this policy can help you achieve good results. We’ve all felt the weight of the world on our shoulders at one time or another. Sometimes pressure is heaped on us by others, but we are often responsible for putting ourselves in tough positions. In order to prevent future worry, you need to identify your limits.

Realizing precisely what you’re capable of will help you make wiser commitments to others and to yourself. Knowing your limits will help you realize when you might be setting yourself up for failure. If your children ask you to make four costumes for a theme party when you know you can only make two, you will have the opportunity to tell them that up front. This honesty frees you from worrying that you’ve let them down.

3. Replace the what-ifs

If you’re like most worriers, you probably use what-if statements thinking they’ll help you plan ahead. You have to be prepared, right? The truth is these statements actually set you back. Robbing you of your optimism, they force you to worry about everything that could go wrong without offering any solutions to these potential problems.

Break the what-if habit by using if-then statements instead. For example, if you have a lot on your plate at work, you might normally wonder, What if I have trouble meeting deadlines? By asking yourself this, you’re calling into question your ability to perform. In order to align yourself with The 8 Steps to Becoming You program, adjust the statement to say, If I have trouble meeting deadlines, I will learn new techniques.

By making this simple alteration in phrasing, you’re no longer questioning yourself and your abilities. Even though you’re thinking ahead to possible stumbling blocks, you’re still remaining positive overall. In addition, you’re truly preparing yourself by coming up with a real solution to the problem. By replacing what-ifs with if-thens, you’re freeing yourself from having to worry about all that the future might hold.

In terms of excessive worry, mental strategy can make a large difference in how you feel about your life. Incorporating these three tips into your outlook can greatly reduce the amount of worry in your life. If you’ve been worrying about something specific and you just can’t shake it, ask Laurie for a personalized answer.