Strength and Clarity at Life’s Most Difficult Moments

I have never run a guest blog on LaurieMarsden.com, but my friend Jeanne Korn recently wrote a piece about her father passing away. Her story stuck with me and I feel I want to share it with you. Jeanne really talks to our experience of processing traumatic events, letting go and living in the moment.  All beautiful lessons encapsulated in a beautiful story. Step 5 of the 8 Steps to Becoming You program is about Getting Through Tough Times. Imagine if you could have Jeanne’s clarity and take away the wonder in life’s most difficult moments. Here it is:  Strength and Clarity at Life’s Most Difficult Moments

 

“My Dad passed away on May 15th, just a mere few minutes ago in my eyes. A vital, healthy, joyful man of 87 years who my family and I referred to as our very own Benjamin Button, growing more handsome, whimsical, and curious as he aged.  He left us so quickly and quietly.  We are all still waiting for him to walk back in the door from a long stroll.

After a relaxing morning visit with his best friend, he finished his breakfast then told my Mum his chest ached.  On the way to the hospital Dad lost consciousness and never regained it.

My husband and I were driving a U Haul en route from California to New York embarking on a new life on the East Coast when I called the folks to say hi.  As soon as I found out PopKorn (as we fondly called him) was in the hospital we drove to the nearest airport and I got on the next flight to LA making it in time to spend the last 12 hours of his life with him.  It was an honor, for sure, the greatest honor of my life.

I spent our time together holding his hand.  I kissed, hugged and talked with him, and gently massaged his heart and Crown Chakras hoping to sooth the way for his transformation.  By this time we were told that he would be leaving soon and we would be left behind to mourn our loss.

Towards the end, when I was lost for words and losing any glimpse of hope that perhaps he would be coming home with us, I reached for the one thing that has brought me strength and comfort during difficult times, my beloved Saraswati Mantra.

I felt this was appropriate because Pop loved my passion for Yoga.  He asked me endless questions about it:  “How many countries is it practiced in?”;  “What’s the name and purpose of this pose and that pose?”; and, “Why do you always call it a practice?  Are you endlessly practicing?”  My reply was:  “Yes Pop, I will endlessly practice.  That’s the challenge and the fun of it.  I never have to be done!”

Pop sat in on some of my classes over the years where he was always in awe of the calm, focus and flexibility of the students around him (I think he was a Yogi in a past life!).  He also loved music, singing, laughter and dancing.  So it felt very natural for me to reach for what inspires me and also something he would love.

As I chanted I began to witness the most glorious transformation I could only ever dream of.  Pop took several deep, gasping breaths.  I saw fear take over his eyes. I told him to breath deeply into his full and powerful heart, that his love was so strong it was bursting from the confines of his body.  I said, “Just breath Pop, you have so much love inside you and around you, feel it and let it free you”.

It was as if these words, like the Mantra, were moving through us both, soothing and inspiring.
His breath began to calm and tears came to his eyes.  They say one doesn’t cry when unconscious, though I witnessed it, and wiped the tears from my Dads eyes.

Suddenly his dark hazel eyes turned a luminescent, sky blue, as if he opened a window for me to the great beyond where he was heading. Through a cloudless, magnificent sky towards a pure light that was so very grand and full of endless possibility.  It touched, literally touched my Soul.  A calm washed over me, then a warmth of gratitude and joy filled my heart, which continues to live in me today.

As the light left his body and he took his last few breaths, a gentle smile rose on his lips. A sweet, secret smile, as if Walter Mitty were embarking on one of his fabulous adventures and he glanced back at those of us he was leaving behind with a magical glee in his eyes.

My Dad shared a glimpse of the glorious Eternity of which he was embarking with me that morning.  What a gift he gave me beyond the confines of all human conditioning, from his Soul directly to mine, one of many gifts he shared with me throughout my life. He taught me structure, discipline and a strong sense of Self as I was growing up, and as he aged, he shared the importance of taking time to savor the sweetness of shared moments, to appreciate the beauty in nature and in life itself.

During my last visit with him he was sitting and polishing some of his old tools and said to me, “Come sit a while.”  I usually run around organizing when I first arrive but this time I sat right down and talked with him.  About what; probably tools or old cars or airplanes.  That doesn’t matter so much as what does matter, that it felt very sweet.  To sit, breath and simply Be in the moment; all these years of striving for something that is there all along.

Although I am feeling very raw and vulnerable in these days after he’s left, not sure when I’ll want to stand up in front and lead a class, I’m not thinking about that right now.  I’m staying with the fullness, truth, and powerful love that my Dad shared with me throughout my life and especially in his time of transformation.  For through his transformation, I am transformed as well.”

 

Jeanne T. Korn; Yoga Teacher & Hands on Healing. Lives in Upstate New York and travels doing retreats in various locations. Jeanne also works in NY and LA teaching and guiding her students with grace and lightness.

http://jeannekorn.blogspot.com